I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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