Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I wish you could order shots online.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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