Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Houston, we have a squirter
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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