Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
