how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Holy shit dude........stairs
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
