I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
