i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
