in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Liz is crying about burritos again.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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