I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
