i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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