Christians are straight up FREAKS
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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