hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
