OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
