There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
