Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
