I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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