Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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