Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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