i wish my penis had a tongue
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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