don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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