9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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