Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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