Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
