So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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