Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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