coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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