The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
