Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
