when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
