He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
