Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Girls should come with a carfax report
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
