I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
