Tell her she can't have a vagina
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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