yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
