Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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