Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
