so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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