thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
he puts the penis in happiness.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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