if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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