I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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