Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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