she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he shaved USA in his pubs
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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