I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
