She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
