I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
