S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
