Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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