Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
