some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
