Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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