If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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