i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
