Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
