i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
