I think i peed on brittanys purse
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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